March Madness Running Diary

We are coming at you LIVE from Lucian Rogers House. We've got sparkling HIGH definition (when CBS actually sent the cameras there) and some typo inducing beverages in the fridge. Things could get hectic.

My Highlights from Yesterday:

1) Murray State with biggest shot of the day to advance to second round for first time since Popeye Jones was frightening children in the Ohio Valley.

2.) UK taking care of business, just a great team showing up. Hope they didn't use up all their 3's yesterday, Also there is no way Eric Bledsoe will stop shooting, I just hope he hits. (Also a lowlight, CBS only showing that game in Kentucky even when it was a huge blowout, we switched over to watch the First Episode of East Bound and Down fantastic show if you love vulgarity)

3) JIMMER Freddette. Favorite guy in the tournament. Best part of his day was when Wally Zerbiack called him the college Allen Iverson. Settle down Wally Z.

4.) My friend Gobby coming into town and wearing a blue V neck shirt making him look like a chubby nurse.

5) --from Lucian--Derek Character didn't shoot anybody (that made me laugh outloud)

6) Georgetown Doodoo's not even showing up and Villanova showing why it was ridiculous to put them in Duke's bracket, needing overtime to beat Rob M (which I think is a member of a 90s boy band)

AND DAY 2 OF MADNESS BEGINS



11:15--AHHHHH! Bobby Thuggins in HD (he looks like Vince Gill if he went on that Supersize me diet)

11:20---Morgan St. threatening to shut out West Virgina maybe Villanova isnt the worst 2 seed in the field

11:23--Bobby Thuggins might need to pay off these refs to not get run outta here its 10-1.

11:30--Tubby Ball begins and the bank is open in the Bradley Center for Minnesota.

11:33--Tubby looks so young, looks like he did back in 97. UK was aging him badly. Big 10 was best place for him.

11:35--Wait a minute Ralph Sampson III and Joe Crawford's brother play Tubby Ball I have no idea what to do with that.

11:37--Al Nolen of Minnesota out with an academic injury (I hope the doctors are working on him)

11:38--Scratch that Joe Crawford's brother plays for Xavier. Minnesota has a 7 foot white guy named Iverson. I might need a Tylenol to make sure I am seeing this right.

11:41--Xavier has a tall white guy name "Freeze" Lucian: He runs like Lurch.

11:44--the Coach of Xavier looks like Powder and is threatening to be a whiter guy than me.

11:46--Just wanted to point out how Murray winning was just like Rocky 4 (which I watched yesterday before the game)--Underdog going WAY away from home to face a supposed Powerhouse lead by a bald guy that yells. Their star is a tall blonde guy with a funny accent) AND THEY CHOPPED THE AUSSIE DOWN!!!

I love that they won. I hate Vandy, they have become Duke South for me. Jay Cutler has permanent helmet hair and throws picks like he gets bonuses for them.

11:50--What is Freeze's nickname? Ice man or Mr. Freeze. Lucian and I can't decide. Lucian says he's Ice man because He runs like his legs are frozen.

11:53 Cornell is bombing on Temple. I didn't pick them because they were America's best upset (before Sienna got the Robbie Hummel-less Purdue.) At least Andy Bernard is happy.

11:55--We are on commercial. I wanted to point out things that let you know your back in a college town
1) when you wake up and have a smiley face and star stamped on your hand (makes you look like you are in the world's fruitiest prison gang)
2) finding a large wad of singles in your pocket but none in your billfold. Not sure why but always happens

11:58--Xavier has missed 9 straight shots. Love that this is the featured game so much fun to watch bad basketball. Hating Lucian because he switched Cable providers and we don't get 2 CBS's.

11:59 would anyone ever, EVER use that KGB texting for answers? Why spend a dollar on a text either look it up on the internet or if you don't have that on your phone call someone to get on Google.

12:01--CBS has us in Low D for about 2 minutes before switching. I am such an HD snob now. Low def looks like somebody rubbed grease on the screen then shot it through an aquarium.

12:02 WVU is at half and they are up 11. The money for the ref's must have got their late.

12:03 OUCH--The Minnesota Cheerleaders leave much to be desired. They need to be in low-def I think.

12:05--Lucian cracks his first typo drink. He eats individual Cheeto bags but just pouring them into his mouth. Doesn't use his hands. Lucian finds nothing wrong with this.

12:06--every time they sub out Freeze I yell FREEZE OUT. That's because I rode the school bus until I was 16, don't judge.

12:07 Minnesota just missed a 6 foot wide open shot. In fact that starts a slew of misses. I haven't seen a made basket in like 4 minutes. Is this the Women's NIT? Good thing Minnesota made it and not Va Tech or Illinois.

OK Throwing this first diary post up. Check back for more in an hour.

12:15--Just checked Facebook. I am loving all the Murray State love. Gotta take a break to check my brackets at halftime of Minnesota.

12:16--Lucian says we shouldn't have played this half of the Xavier-Minnesota game becaue It's tied. I think we shouldn't have played it because the teams are awful.

12:17--We are (finally) taken to the Cornell game. These cornell guys look like they haven't seen the sun in months. Apprently smart kids don't like tanning beds.

12:19--One of yesterday's other big game winners was from Northern Iowa'a Ali Farokhmanesh. And he's a white guy....I bet he doesn't like going to the air port.

12:20--hey awesome. All the games are at half. Love the CBS scheduling.

12:25--Quick check on my brackets. Actually doing really well this year. Georgetown and Marquette losses hurt. But other than that ok. Can't believe SD state gave away that Tennessee game. the SEC is terrible. I hope that doesn't hurt UK

12:27 I ask Lucian which he thinks was worse the SEC this year or Pac-10 when the Lopez brothers were there. Lucian verbatim-"I...I don't know, well...I don't know. Pac-10 is terrible now, just say that."

12:28: Greg Gumble looks like he is covered in some kind of pasty makeup. He has Tubby's skin town for his last 2 years in UK.

12:30: Games on half time we go looking for videos. This one blew me away since we already talked about my love for Goofy Movie.

12:34: sorry haven't been watching basketball. Watching videos. The Leprechan "Where the Gold At" video is great in honor of St. Patty's day last Wednesday. Who all seen the Leprechan say YEA! indeed. Amateur sketch is awesome.

12:42: OOOH fancy play by Jordan Crawford (Joe's brother) puts Xavier up 2 with a hanging scoop shot.

12:43 pretty play by Minnesota to Sampson III. Now we are getting some good basketball. 1st half was apparently a "pass"

12:44: WVU running away with it. Maybe Kenyon Martin got to play after halftime.

12:45: Really good plays on both ends by Minnesota and Xavier. I think the blog got them fired up.

12:46 we are toggling Basketball with No Country for Old Men. I love this movie but now only like when Anton Chiggarh is on the screen (I refuse to look up how to spell his name, make it easier Coen Brothers)

12:47: I like the tiny hands commercial for Burger King but wish it Starred Braylon Edwards b/c his hands just don't work.

12:47: They bring up the fact that Lebron got dunked on by Jordan Crawford. but refuse to show video of it. I think Lebron had all of those destroyed.

12:49 they finally show the video. It looks grainy like it was shot through some kind of night vision lens with a pair of pantyhose over it.

12:50 Austin Martin checking in to remind us and make the call the Lebron dunk before the annoucers talk about it and how Blake Hoffarber was the kid that made the shot from his butt to win a HS championship. He plays for Minnesota. They might need him to sit down and make a few shots Minnesota down 8

12:53--Crawford is going nuts. He has been allowed a lay up line against Minnesota. So much for Big 10 Defense.

12:55--Anton Chiggarh using a perscription at the pharmacy. Which means he just blew up a car to make a distraction to get medical supplies. For a guy that wants to keep a low profile you figured he's just forge a doctor's name.

12:56--Lucian "There's alotta blood in that boot, I bet he still runs better than Freeze" (you probably need to be watching the movie to get that joke)

12:58--Austin says "If Cornell beats UK in the sweet 16 is that bizzaro Glory Road" "Do they make a movie about that"

12:59 Xavier up 8 on a big 3 from Jackson. I think Minnesota needs a better Iverson.

12:59: Big dunk from Minnesota's Devron Bostick. We are calling him Mr. Boom-Bostick that's fun.

1:01: Just found out Hoffarber is from Minetonka. I wonder if he purifies himself in the waters there like Prince.

1:02--We are taken to sparkling low def for no reason then right back. Cornell and WVU looking like blowouts. Minnesota is trying to let Xavier blow them out but Xavier won't oblige.

1:03--Lucian keeps calling Xavier --Xavier' (like Henry from Kansas) he has been fighting to get that in the blog all day but I keep telling him it won't work in print. Tell me what you think in the comments for the next hour.

BACK AT 2

1:09--Apprently Tubby is close to taking the Auburn job, that brought gasps to the room. UK would be playing 2 former championship coaches every year. That's insane to me. Joe B. Hall is probably looking into the job at LSU

1:12: Xavier pulling away. I knew all the games would be crappy today b/c there was way too much excitement yesterday.

1:14--Austin says "there will be no outcry for when Tubby screws over Minnesota"

1:15--I am loving the Big Red Bears winning vs. Temple.

1:16--I love Eliot Ness, not going to explain further but my buddy Zane would be proud. Lucian is currently fighting a Woodchuck

1:17--Find out Cornell took off Bears from their name and are just called the Big Red now. I don't like that, not one bit.

1:19 Lucian wants me to watch Modern Family which I've heard is great but he is the same guy that loves 2 and a Half Men so I am a little worried.

1:23--Tubby looks ready to take the Auburn job. His kids keep hitting shots and hanging around (starts a round of Lucian and I doing Teddy KGB impressions from Rounders. Check Check Check. Pay heeem paaaay dat mein heees mooonnniee

1:25--Jordan Crawford has 25 today. Is he better than Joe? Better driver but maybe not shooter.

1:26--Minnesota cuts the lead to 6. Tubby calls a timeout to tell his kids if they have to run gassers if he loses the Auburn job if they win and they take someone else.

1:28 Big 3 from Crawford. I think Tubby cheered for that. I am enjoying the Jordan Crawford's work. Apprently Jordan Crawford is 5-11 from 3. Maybe he is a better shooter than Joe as well.

1:29--Austin tells me that UK recruited Kenny Frease (who I call Freeze). But he chose Xavier. He is flabbergasted that anyone would not want to come to UK. We got Harrelson we only need one big white guy that runs like his feet are dipped in cement.

1:31 Minnesota down 9 with 26 left. Tubby has the moving van already started. Lucian just called it, his bracket is toast. That's what you get for having a job instead of watching basketball on your couch all year.

1:33--Just saw Saul Smith that was frightening. Whatever is living on his head was still breathing I think. We will call that stringy straight hair receding hair line thats long in the back. It looks awful. He looks like a monster in a bad horror 80s movie. Sorta like Jason Vorhees without the mask. That picture is acutally EXACTLY what his hair looks like. Just shave it down Saul, it can't look worse than now.

1:37--I just had my fantasy baseball draft.

1:39--Dominos beat Papa John's in a national taste test. Is that something you would brag about? They are both bad

1:40--Watching Siena-Purdue. I like Siena's headcoach. He looks like the head Doctor in an 80's Hospital show.

1:42--Siena down 6-9...Get it?

1:43--Poorly unexecuted allyoop from Siena. I am struggling. went after it too hard last night. Just glad i changed jeans cause they reeked of smoke. Remind me to rant about that later

1:44--Siena runs the doodoo offense against Purdue. Not a good set. They have missed lots of layups.

1:45--Siena Purdue so far is not great. We need Robbie Hummel. If only because he sound like one of the players from Hoosiers. Or the star of the sequel Hoosiers 2: Electric Boogaloo. Where Robbie has to save the basketball gym by having a breakdance fund raiser.

1:50--We are watching History Channel now during commercial. Its about dinosaurs. I always wonder what color they really where. I hope it was something fun like Polka dots. we are gonna need a food break soon so I can get caffeine. its getting a little giddy in here.

1:51--Clemson--Mizzou tipping off and Clemson starter Tanner Smith wins the the palest player award and also player mostly likely to vomit during a game. big day for him.

1:53--Clemson has a player name Demontez Stitt. That's the worst name I've ever heard. His parents must have been hippies or not really wanted kids.

1:55--Missouri has a player named Zaire Taylor who Bill Rafferty tell's us has the nickname The Tazmanian Devil. Didn't know a guy named Zaire needed a nick name.

1:57--Tanner Smith just threw up a shot that went 8 feet past the rim. He just started dry heaving.

1:58 Missouri's coach Mike Anderson was on Nolan Richardson's Arkansas team. They show a picture and Nolan is wearing a Razorbacks polo, black pants, and light blue snake skin cowboy boots. By far the highlight of the day.

And on that Note Lucian and I are going on a sandwich break. Back at 3