This will be quick but my friend Anna posed a question to me and I was intrigued enough to take a break from finals studying (aka watching MTV's The Ruins) to answer it."Is Kyle Singler a vampire?"
This was brought to my attention after Duke lost to Wisconsin (which is fantastic). Let me start out by saying that I hate Duke. I hate everything about them. I hate the way they look, the way they act, their uniforms, their coach, their fans, and most of all, I hate Christian Laettner. The only bad thing about March Madness is that they keep showing that friggin' Laettner shot. I throw things (usually something heavy at the TV) when I see that shot. It kills me in bits and pieces every time it comes on, and I can't get to the remote fast enough.
Anyway, back to Singler. I don't like the guy. I'm not sure why (ummm, oh yeah... he plays for Duke). He looks just like someone I wouldn't want to have to hang out with for any moments, and I don't want him to do well. If I had the choice between Duke losing every game or UK beating them by 100 I'm not sure what I would do; why not both.
But back to the question. Is he a vampire. I don't mean like is he a goth kid or anything... I mean like a real live, blood sucking, coffin sleeping, turning into Bat, Blade fighting, vampire. Like Nosferatu.
Well lets look at the evidence: He looks weird, I don't want to see him at night (or at all), he's pale. All vampire like qualities. Plus I really don't like vampires, coincidence?--Possibly
On a side note honestly I just bought a new HD-TV, somebody needs to put out a warning before they play on TV. (I think they broke my tuner)
Just to be safe Duke probably needs to stop selling garlic fries at concessions, but they can conveniently still worship the Devil, (the Blue Devil but still). I am pretty sure the Devil is cool with vampires, but I will have to check into that.
Ultimately we are going to say No--he's not a vampire because I'm pretty sure they aren't real (never say never; I'm not gotta let them get a jump on me).
But I will say I wouldn't take Duke in a day game, just to be on the safe side.
I would be willing to drive a wooden stake through his heart, just to be sure.
ReplyDeleteI figure he is probably a vampire too... I am not George HAmilton or anything, but I am pretty sure he is so white that he glows.
ReplyDeleteYes, I would say he is.
ReplyDeleteProbably a gay vampire though.